Hopeful Despair (A Komahina Fanfic)
by Kim.Namjoonie
Summary: When Komaeda Nagito falls ill , his best friend (or lover) Hajime Hinata visits him in the hospital and arrives to a very difficult scenario , will both of them be alright? ONE-SHOT WARNING: ANGST
_As many of you might know my ultimate OTP is Komahina hence my tumblr url but here's an upsetting fanfic I wrote awhile back that I wanted to post!_

 ** _WARNING: ANGST_**

 ** _Word Count: 966_**

 _\- Hopeful Despair -_

Hinata frantically paced around the hospital lobby. His chest was pounding heavily as he huffed in a contrite manner. Komaeda... Komaeda , his friend was in the hospital for severe lung damage and his cancer increasing that gave him a sudden heart attack. They were both having a chill conversation when Komaeda suddenly paused and slumped over the table and when Hinata thought it was a joke , he called out his name a couple times but he was unconscious and nearing death. Hinata knew Komaeda's time was almost up. He didn't want that day to come. He didn't want to loose anybody else in his life. The nurse quietly said "Hinata-kun you may come in to see your friend"

He nodded with anxiousness and slowly stammered in the room nervously. He didn't want to see Komaeda in pain whatsoever. There he was , hooked up onto a machine filled with tubes and wires. He was breathing slowly but sure enough he was alive and conscious. Hinata sighed in relief as he said "Komaeda... You're okay..."

Komaeda smiled weakly and behind that smile was a sly secret. "I'm okay..." He trailed off

Hinata neared his bed and placed a hand on his forehead to check if he had any signs of a fever , he was clear. "I wouldn't want you to die..." He mumbled and sat on his bed. Komaeda kept his smile and slowly whispered "Hinata , I need to tell you something."

Hinata turned his head to an angle to look at his beloved friend. "Yeah?" He asked nonchalantly thinking it was some outburst statement of hope or a lame joke he loved to say. "Hinata-kun... I'm going to be dead soon."

Hinata's pupils widened with shock and betrayal. "Komaeda - no that can't be..." He trailed off quietly. He still kept his smile strongly. "Promise me you'll be okay , don't grieve for me too much" he chuckled at the end. Hinata inched closer to Komaeda's face and shook his shoulders. "Are you fucking crazy , that's complete bullshit!" He said in denial. Komaeda shook his head and replied "Don't worry , I won't be in pain" he said with ease.

Hinata clenched his fists tightly still in denial with Komaeda's statement.

Komaeda raised his body a little and considering how close hinata's face was to his , he leaned in and gently kissed him on the lips and smiled. "Hinata-kun , I've always wanted to do that..." He trailed off.

Hinata's eyes started watering up , he didn't want to loose komaeda , his beloved komaeda who drove him crazy with worry half the time. Hinata wrapped his arms around Komaeda's form and hugged him tightly. Komaeda replied weakly, " thanks for everything Hinata-kun. For being my friend and for accepting me" he smiled and leaned in "I l-love you , Hinata-kun". With that , he fell silently. His breathing slowed immediately and his arms weakened around Hinata. His whole form was begun in to slump. Hinata was too shocked in the moment to comprehend what was happening. Komaeda was now limp and his breathing was barely audible. Hinata felt warm droplets roll down his cheeks. He didn't bother to wipe them as he shook Komaeda by his limp shoulders. "Komaeda!" He exclaimed with worry. Of course , komaeda didn't answer. He let out a loud scream and more droplets rolled down his face. After his yelp , he couldn't remember what had happened because he had passed out from shock and denial.

 _\- TIME SKIP -_

He was wearing all black , with a black rose in his hand. There weren't many others at his funeral , but there were some. He climbed up the stairs to give his final speech. "Komaeda , was my best friend , and somebody who I cared about. He died in my arms telling me he loved me that faithful day. I couldn't believe how much he had been through and how much he cared. I wish I could've given him more care , but now he's gone." Hinata's throat started clambering up as water began to form from the corner of his eyes. "If I saw him again in the next life , I'd make sure to give him much more care..." He finished softly as many tears trickled down his face...

As the casket was lowering , Hinata felt a huge lump and weight in his chest. He felt betrayed and still in denial. He didn't want his best friend to go , he wanted to admit that he loved him but it was too late now. As the casket lowered down onto the muddy ditch , Hinata whispered, "thank you komaeda , I-I love you too" he smiled weakly as he knew komaeda would want him to do... To be hopeful and to continue on.

When he got back to his house , a red letter caught his eye under their flower vase. He grabbed the letter and opened it confusingly. Written there were the phrases," Be strong Hinata-kun. Continue to hope for me. I love you Hinata-kun"

Hinata sank to his knees as he held the letter. Droplets splashed onto the red letter making the red fibers become crimson. He couldn't control his cries , he didn't want to loose his friend , he didn't want him to go. He loved him , and komaeda knew. He said shakily ," Komaeda... I'll hope for you till the end of time" with that he closed the letter and sealed the story shut forever .


End file.
